Category: Annie

Entry #3: When The Music Stops

Annie loved the band. She would come to every rehearsal and show she could make it to. The music brought her so much joy it was infectious to watch her. I don’t think I have ever met anyone who could show so much laughter and emotion over just being in the moment of a live performance. Many times she would be right up front with the booming sound cabinets and this crazy grin on her face. She must have been a hippy in a previous life.

Never having really been interested in music before, she embraced it and went out and purchased an iPod so she could put music on it for later listening. I had no idea what she was listening to, as honestly, the subject never came up. I look back now and think, why didn’t I ever ask about that? It will remain as one of many unanswered questions that I wish I had asked when I could.

Annie was thousands of miles away from me when her heart gave out. I didn’t know then and have thought every day since why I didn’t make the trip with her. I could have put things on hold, made arrangements for the things that needed to be taken care of. I knew she wanted to do this on her own as she had worked towards this goal her whole life. Yet, my thoughts on that week still demonize me.

Annie’s mother traveled to her to take care of the arrangements and although her English was not the greatest, she made the effort to keep me updated on what she learned. She was Thai/Vietnamese and had met her Black American husband when he was stationed overseas. Eventually he was brought back the states and Annie was born here. It was so ironic that she had traveled back to her mother’s country at the end and she was barely 40 years old.

It was by pure happenstance that I happened to be at home a few weeks later when a package arrived. I saw all the postage on it and it took a minute or two to realize it came from overseas. Annie’s mother had sent me a few of her things that she thought I would like to have. One of those things was her iPod. I was for sure not in the mood to look at all of this so I just put the box away.

A month went by and I finally started to go through the box. The iPod was dead so I borrowed a cable from a friend so I could charge it up. What I found changed me forever. There was only one song on the whole damn thing. The song we played that she found total enjoyment in. I had no idea what to think.

A week later we had a show. Load in all the stuff, wait and wait and wait for a sound check. Things didn’t seem right at the sound check but I could not put my finger on what was bothering me. When we tore into the first song opening the show, I knew I was done. I just mailed it in the rest of the night. That song was the only song on her iPod, I could never play that song again, never play any of those songs again. I walked away from performing music that night. It’s been ten years and try as I might, I still cannot get back the point of performing. Every time I have tried I only see that iPod. That iPod stopped the music.

Entry #2: Annie

Annie (not her real name) and I met quite by accident. At the time I was traveling the country doing phone sales by day and music at night. Turned out that Annie travelled for business and we happened to end up in the same city and the same club one night.

My position was second drums. In this band that meant I worked with the bass player to hold down the rhythm section and the other drummer played over me with all the fancy stuff. Over the years the band grew into a rather large group, with two drummers, two keyboardists, three guitarists and four horns. We were a cover/tribute band and there never seemed to be a lack of work.

Everyone hangs out after the shows and most of the time people come up to talk and old friends come out of the woodwork. As for me, I am an introvert and never enjoy that part of the evening. I like to do my thing and then kick back.

Minding my own business at the bar having a solo drink, up comes Annie and introduces herself and her friend Ellen (also not her real name). They caught the show purely by accident and started peppering me with questions about the music. They never heard of the band nor any of the music we played and wanted to know all about it. We talked for quite a long time before Ellen called it a night and left. Annie and I remained until the bar closed and we got kicked out.

Since she was going to be in town the rest of the week and we had a couple of rehearsals as well, I invited her to come along and watch. Throughout the rehearsal, I just could not keep my eyes off of her. She was so into the music that she would dance and twirl around without a care as to who saw her. I was seeing into the most unusual, innocent person I had ever met. Little did I know how far it would take us.

 

Turns out Annie and Ellen were practically sisters who grew up next door to each other and had been on their own since they were teenagers. That is for another story. Annie was an executive with an insurance company and Ellen worked for the government. Ellen refused to tell me what she did there but I am sure I was better off not knowing. While she was friendly, she had a bizarre way of staring at you when you spoke. It was as if she was reading your mind or something more sinister. It was very unnerving.

 

Annie on the other hand, commanded a large department at her company and was in a powerful position. It was such a polar opposite to her personal self when not at work. Many times she was indecisive, showing a wonder at the things that went on around her as if she had never experienced any of it. She reminded me of a ten or eleven year old always exploring from a standpoint of childish innocence when in fact they were both grown women of about forty.

By day three she started to reveal the personal parts of her life to me and it became apparent we had a connection that neither of us had had before. The more intimate details of her history she revealed, the more confused and apprehensive I became. I had never met anyone like her before and I wasn’t sure what to do with all the information she was giving me. To this day, I still do not understand how it came to be that we met, much less grew that bond, as we came from such different places and only met by circumstance. By the end of the week, it became obvious there was something serious going on between us as we began to coordinate all of our travels in order to spend as much time with each other as possible since we lived in different cities.

Neither of us anticipated anything like this happening and as we went forward, trying to find out how we fit in with each other, it became more exciting with each passing day. Nothing in my life experience had prepared me to meet someone like her. And every hour away from her became agony.