From the moment Annie and I met, we both knew that there was something special happening.

Somehow, we both realized that we understood each other in a new and exciting way.

Annie “got me”, and I her.

No one else had ever seen me in the same way that Annie did.

We spent the next glorious year exploring everything about each other. Nothing was out of bounds to investigate and experience together.

When Annie died, my whole world came crashing down and in my heart, I knew there would never be another who could so readily see me for who I really was. I refused to give anyone else the chance to fill that space.

Some time ago, I met someone who triggered that response as soon as I met her. I thought to myself, now here is someone I could trust with my stories and explore my feelings with.

But I was wrong. Like so many who came before her, she showed me that, no…she really didn’t “get me”.

So, now, it is back to the refuge of my darkness and silence. I am exhausted and just too damn tired to make the effort going forward. Why even bother, when it all ends in disappointment?